Two out of Three
by Chibi-Ra-Chan
Summary: The Akatsuki offers Sakura something too good to refuse. And it just may involve shoving coughdrops down a not-so-evil clan murder's throat. Itasaku
1. Burn a Bridge or Two

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Two out of Three

Chapter One; Burn a Bridge or Two

By Chibi Ra Chan

Rated T

Pairing(s) ItaSaku some DeiSaku

Enjoy!

-----

'_I told you to send a message to Shishou first,_" Inner Sakura cooed, "_But no...You didn't listen. Now look at what you've gotten yourself into"_

The twenty year old medic nin did not need her inner self gloating to her at the moment, though she knew she was right. It was supposed to be a simple B-ranked mission, heal the daimyo's son and return to Konoha, a two week mission at most. 

Her intuition told her to send out a hawk to Tsunade-Shishou when the elder told her that daimyo's son was off in Iwa on business. That should have been a major clue, but she ignored it and started back toward Konoha.

Now look where it got her.

'Damn! It was a trap, I should have known!'

Sakura glared hard at the man standing on a bolder nearly 15 feet away from her. The blood red clouds and blonde hair gave away his identity long before he spoke to her. 'Deidara...the one with mouths on his hands.' She clearly remembered him from her encounter with his partner, Sasori almost 5 years ago. 

He looked the same, still rather feminine and short. Though his eyes were not as playful as she remembered. 'Great. Only I can stumble upon an Akatsuki member when he's pissed off.'

Sitting next to him was a man in the same cloak, she did not recognize him. An odd orange mask covered most of his face, she could see ruffled black hair and judging only from the way he swung his legs back and forth over the rocks' edge, Sakura would bet he was rather young.

Deidara stared at her coldly, blue eyes looking both tired and bored. "Haruno Sakura...Un?" Though is came out as a question she doubted it was truly one. Silently, Sakura weighed her options. She could try to bolt now, but she doubted she could out run not only one, but two Akatsuki members, and she wasn't in a hurry to try anytime soon. 

That left her other option, which wasn't very appeasing either. Stay and see what they wanted.

Tensing up slightly she channeled a bit more chakra into her fist, just in case. "Hai." 

The blond only stared at her more. "Your presence is requested-" he laughed a bit as he said 'requested' And she could figure out why. When he said request he really meant she didn't have a choice one way or another about it. "-By our leader, we are to 'escort' you there now, un."

_'Like that's gonna happen!" _Inner Sakura roared, giving her outer self a bit more confidence. Sakura cracked her knuckles and readjusted her gloves. "-And if I were to refuse this 'request'?" She watched with growing concern as Deidara smiled for the first time during this little encounter. Suddenly Sakura understood that despite his innocent appearance, that the blond was truly an S-class criminal. His next words chilled her to her core.

"Refusing is not an-"

Or at least is would have chilled her to the core if his partner hadn't chosen this moment to let out an extremely loud, extremely childish sneeze.

"...Option."

It was silent for a moment before Sakura couldn't help herself and laughed out load with much gusto. 

Deidara on the other hand wasn't nearly as amused as the pink hair Kunoichi. "Danmmit Tobi!" He kicked his partner, Tobi, swiftly on the head. "Do you have to ruin everything Un! I was in the middle of intimidating her!"

Tobi rapidly swung his head and arms around in self defense. "Sempai! Tobi didn't mean it! Tobi's a good boy! He tried to hold it in he really did!"

Sakura, whose laughter had finally subsided, watched in awe and confusion. Was she really afraid of these two idiots five minutes ago? How the hell did they get into the most feared Criminal Organization in existence? Well, she wasn't going to let their bantering get in the way of her escape. Tip-toeing as quietly as she could, the pink haired medic sprang into action, and soon became lost in the dense forest.

By the time Deidara had finished taking out his frustration out on his annoying partner, he realized, a bit too late, that their target had long since left and he could feel her chakra growing fainter as she travel deeper into the forest. Sighing dejectedly, Deidara sniffled a bit before rubbing his nose. 'Damn Leader-Sama, we don't need some medic. Especially one with pink hair un. This is stupid.' Oh well, he couldn't really argue with him anyway. He growled in annoyance more to himself than to his partner.

With a slight nod to Tobi they were soon off in the forest searching for their 'guest' again.

"This had better be worth it, un." 

---

After an extremely elaborate plan that included breaking and entering, a hair dryer and several candy bars, Deidara and Tobi had managed to secure one Miss Haruno Sakura. (Tobi was so proud of his plan.) 

Said medic-nin wasn't especially happy about it and she would be trying to make a run for Konoha any moment now if it wasn't for the fact that she was due for a 'meeting' with the Akatsuki's leader.

And she couldn't just turn down a meeting like that. Only a hand full of people had ever seen the man face to face, (and lived to tell the tale) though she wanted nothing more than to go home, she couldn't miss a rare chance like this. 

No literally. She couldn't. She was tied to a chair.

'This is so pitiful' She thought to herself when the door opened revealing a man with bright orange hair and multitude of piercing. His face was calm and relaxed as if he sent his Subornments to steal little girls from their villages all the time. By his side was a very beautiful woman with blue hair and matching eyes. She seemed bored, even irritated. 'What crawled up her butt and died?'

The man sat down in the chair across from her and studied her, his mind was clearly analyzing her appearance and comparing it to what he had heard about her. The woman merely stood leaning against a wall. Every now and then she would send a glare toward Sakura's way, but said nothing none the less.

"Haruno Sakura, I presume? You may call me Pein." he did not wait for her response and released her from her restraints. She wasn't stupid enough to actually try running. That would be suicide, and however grim the situation maybe, Sakura wasn't in the mood to die anytime soon.

"With someone with your reputation, I had expected someone older and more experienced. Defiantly not a pink haired little girl." His voice was light, yet held a clear authoritive tone. 

"This isn't exactly what I was expecting either. So I guess we are even" The words slipped out without Sakura really thinking about it. Almost immediately she wished she could take the statement back. It was best not to anger this man if at all possible, he had access to the world strongest shinobi, and she'd be willing to bet he wasn't exactly a push over himself. She didn't want to die anytime soon. And here she was probably pissing him off.

Pein merely raised an eyebrow at her brashness. "None the less, appearances can be deceiving. I'm sure you are a bit curious as to why an S-class organization such as the Akatsuki, has temporarily pulled you from your village."

'Nah, it happen all the time.' Inner Sakura answered sarcastically. Outer Sakura nodded. 

"As I have said before It has come to our attention that you are the apprentice of The Sanin Tsunade. I'm sure you've realized that this isn't something many can claim. Because of your expertise in medical ninjutsu, I felt that you were the most qualified for the task at hand."

Sakura just stared at him. Was he complimenting her? That could not be a good sign. Something deep inside her told her that this was going to be more than a simple 'task' as he had called it. "Despite my qualifications, I'm sure you are aware that I am a Leaf kunoichi. Assisting you or your members in anyway will be considered treason against Konoha. What makes you think that I would betray my village for a organization of murders?" Her voice held no false bravado, Sakura merely spoke to truth. He was clearly insane if he believed she would help them.

Pein literally swatted away he statement with a flutter of his hand. "That is unimportant. Your own life depends of you completing this task." Sensing her coming out burst, he continued his voice lifting a few decibels. "-Not to mention I am willing to trade something in return for you services."

Now he really had Sakura's attention. What could the Akatsuki possibly possess that she would want, let alone betray her village for? The absurdness of the idea was so laughable that she would have done so if Pein had not spoken again.

"We are aware that you are quite close to the Kyuubi Jinchuriki. In exchange for your medical assistance we will agree to hold off all plots to capture the Kyuubi for a period of one years time." The blue haired woman who had listened dispassionately this whole time, now whipped her head around to stare wide eyed at Pein so fast that Sakura could barley follow the movement

"Pein-Sama! Surely you don't mean-"

"Konan" He held up his hand and she quieted immediately. "I am well aware of my actions." his gaze had not wavered from her face the entire time, not that Sakura had noticed. No Sakura was still stuck on the whole 'leave Naruto alone for a year' thing. Kami, a whole year! Imagine what kind of plot they could come up with in a year! They could figure out a way to stop the Akatsuki long before the Akatsuki could even strike. This was just the kind of certainty they needed. And so what if she had to bend a few (12) moral and legal rules to obtain a year worth of peace for her friend. Shishou would understand wouldn't she?

Probably not, but Sakura could over look that glaring little fact. For now at least 

"Sakura-san, Your answer please?" 

Sakura looked at the man in front of her, he was a dangerous man. She might as well be making a deal with the devil himself. This was strictly against everything they had taught her in a academy. Never deal with the enemy. The sensible part of her, screamed at her to say no and die knowing she had been a good shinobi. Luckily, Inner Sakura quietly beat that part of her into a metal pulp and Sakura was left with only one solution.

Sakura looked straight into Pein strange eyes, determination within her growing. "What exactly will I be doing?"

----

**Things I'd like to clarify :**

**1)** I know Tobi's all evil and Madara-y now, but I love childish Tobi so much more, so that's the Tobi you get.

**2) ** My knowledge on Pein is limited, so I'm guessing on how he'd act around others. Most of my ideas for Pein's attitude came from Lady Hanaka's _Maelstrom_. (She's God I tell you, God!)

**3) **A bit on Sakura's willingness to assist them. I wanted this fic to be more lighthearted then most ItaSaku's out there. Not That I don't love a good angst filled story, but sometimes I want to read something on the happier side. Not that anything about Itachi screams rainbows and kittens, but you get my drift. (I hope)

Heh, The only thing I can say about this is that it is the product of my own fever and nightquil induced mind. It's my first time writing for ItaSaku, though I've been a diehard fan of it for a few years now. I know there's no Itachi in this chapter, but patience my babies. He'll be coming in soon, I just have to set everything up.

Forever and Eternally, Ra

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	2. New Face of Failure

Two out of Three

Chapter two; New Face of Failure

Authoress; Chibi Ra Chan

Rated T, For suggestive situations and Hiden's potty mouth.

Note: Sorry it's a bit late. Enjoy, I made it extra long! (By my standards at least)

--

Konan prided herself on her ability to remain calm in almost all situations. For shinobi, being able to stay collected in a time of crisis could be the difference between completing the mission successfully or death. And it was that much harder for a woman to prove herself in the male dominated shinobi world as it was. So it was extremely odd, not to mention unsettling for her to realize she was having a mini panic attack.

Was Pein completely crazy?! Put off their new world plot for another year? Not to mention the fact that he was making a deal with **this** particular girl. She couldn't have been a day over twelve, and she kept smiling all the time. What kind on ninja smiles during a forced meeting with the enemy?

Surely this wasn't the Sanin Tsunade's apprentice. She looked as if she would sooner faint at the sight of blood, rather then stop internal bleeding. Did Pein realize that he was putting all of their lives in the hand of a...pink haired teenager?

Konan literally had to bite her tongue to stop herself from saying anything.

The infamous leader of the Akatsuki was feeling quite the opposite. Despite being the master mind behind the most powerful missing nin group that had even walked the planet, he was a reasonable man. And if pressed he would admit that he sometimes grew tired of the shady business he had to deal with everyday. And as far as he was concerned this entire 'kidnapping' business was going well.

And the medic he had procured seemed non-threatening enough, clearly she also saw that bending the rules now and then could make both parties happy. Yes, Pein was contented with this arrangement, and was almost shocked that an idea that had come from Tobi was actually working.

Miracles still happened, it seemed.

"Sakura-san, while you are here for the next few weeks you will be working with my subornments. As I'm sure you're aware they are extremely powerful and wanted criminals, please keep in mind that they are still human, however unlikely it may seem from your side of the field. You have my guarantee that they will not harm you unless you directly threaten their lives. I'd highly advise against that."

Well that was a relief. She didn't want to worry about Kunai flying at her while in the middle of an operation. Sakura nodded to signal her understanding and Pein stood, moving out of his chair. "If you do not have anymore immediate concerns, I have other business to attend to, so Konan will be leading you to your quarters. If you have any questions or needs, ask her." If Pein was the type who laughed, he would have at the look on the blue haired woman's face.

Konan looked as if he had just ordered her to gnaw off her own arm, and in truth she looked like she'd rather do that than baby sit a medic for two weeks. But she didn't say anything to get out of it. She just nodded, her mouth set in a very grim line. Without another word to Sakura or his partner, Pein left the room.

The pink haired kunoichi smiled sheepishly at the other woman, who merely glared in return and began to walk out a different door. Sakura took that as a signal to follow her._ 'Geez what a pathetic excuse for a welcoming wagon_.' Inner Sakura thought bitterly.

Konan led her down several hallways, turning without warning and Sakura was almost certain that she was trying to confuse her on purpose. And it was working.

The awkward silence seemed to drag on for an eternity, when in reality it was maybe five minutes at most. Just when Sakura thought she couldn't take it anymore, Konan stopped in front of a simple red door.

"You will stay here for the next 14 days. The kitchen is at the end of this hallway. You will be responsible for feeding yourself. I assume you can do that much. You're basic needs should be met, but in the unlikely event that you require something else, which you shouldn't, you may ask myself or one of the other members for assistance." Konan pulled something from her pocket and shoved it in Sakura's hand. "This will alert you when you're presence is required. I will return in an hour to fetch you. Do not be late." With that Konan swiftly turned on her heels and strode away.

"...Okaaaaaay." Sakura said more to herself then to Konan's retreating back. '_What a bitch._' Inner Sakura supplied. Shaking her head Sakura opened the door and walked into her home for the next two weeks.

She had to admit, when she thought about a secret organization's hideout, she expected and underground lair, or an abandoned fort, defiantly not this. It was practically a hotel! Her entire living room could fit in the spacious room. It was more then enough for one person. _Way_ more.

The walls were a light hue of orange, not an overly bright orange like certain people she happened to know wore, but a soft peach that gave the entire space a warm glow. There was a full bed on the wall opposite the door, the blankets were a dark burgundy, and looked heavy. (She was thankful for that because she guessed that they were somewhere in northern Iwa.)

There was a dresser, a desk and several lamps in various places. To the left there was a door which she guessed lead to a either a closet or a bathroom, opening the door she found it was the later.

She set her small pack on the desk and childishly lunged on the bed. She sprung up and down a couple of times, the bed wiggling for a moment before stilling. 'Heh, who'd think that a bunch of thugs would know how to treat a girl.' Sakura thoughts amused. Looking up at the ceiling, she suddenly remembered the small, _something_, that Konan had shoved into her hand. Unclenching her fist, Sakura found the Akatsuki's signature ring laying against her palm. It was silver, the flat top, a deep red color like the one's she had seen worn by all members. A pout appeared on her face when she read the kanji though.

'Figures, The Uchiha has the name of a constellation on his, Deidara has 'Azure' on his ring. Hell, even that Sasori guy had 'jewel' on his. Me? What do I get? I get 'childish'.' Conspiracy she tells you. Sighing, the medic tried to focus on the task at hand. Healing the Akatsuki. 'That even sounds weird...'

Quickly shifting to medic mode, Sakura began to think up the worse scenarios. Something that would cause the Akatsuki abduct an enemy medic for assistance had to be serious. Collapsed lungs? Massive internal bleeding? Brain clot? Multi-system organ failure?

Sakura was morbidly giddy at the idea of working on an extremely challenging case. Don't get her wrong, she loved working at the hospital, but she usually didn't get to work on anything too intense. They usually shifted her off to the pediatric ward.

Damn Shizune and Tsunade, hogging all the blood and gore.

Before Sakura knew it, her hour was up and the ring that now rested on her ring finger began to glow an eerie red.

Reluctantly getting of the soft, warm, fluffy bed Sakura wandered to the desk and opened a few of the drawers, finding that they were fully stocked with medical supplies. Bandages, gauze, syringes, enough disinfectant to sterilize even the worst of infections, everything she would need. Quickly she slipped some into her pack, readying herself for the task at hand, healing the some of the deadliest shinobi's in existence.

A part of her felt bad, she would be fixing shinobi who would undoubtedly murder again, not to mention the person who had driven Sasuke to defect from Konoha to train with Orochimaru, despite his questionable sexuality and obsession for young boys.

Sakura flinched a bit at that.

No she was defiantly not looking forward to working with the elder Uchiha. Hopefully he'd be beyond repair and there would be nothing she could do for him besides watch the life slip away from his cold heartless eyes. Leaving her conscience completely clean, no regret at all to make her feel bad. Not to mention giving her the best story ever to tell once she returned home.

If he wasn't at death's door though, and she had a bad feeling the bastard was too stubborn to die off so easily, she'd have to obey her stupid Hippocratic oath to do everything in her power to heal him, no matter who he was, or how many clans he'd murdered.

Shaking all thoughts of Uchiha Itachi away, Sakura smirked and cracked her knuckles in anticipation. Opening the door she found an annoyed Konan about to knock. Sakura didn't let her dour mood get to her though and looked at her reluctant tour guide. "Well, where are my patients?"

The smile that was slowly creeping on Konan's face could in no way be a good sign.

--

"You've got to be kidding me."

_'This is just pathetic. We're one of the most revered medics in the world and they kidnap us for, for this!!'_

Inner Sakura ranted, throwing a temper a tantrum in the darker corners of Sakura's mind. Sadly, the usually calmer and more rational Outer Sakura, wanted very badly to join her_._

Konan had to struggle to keep from grinning. Stupid little girl, what was she expecting? "As you can see, most of our members are in a great deal of suffering. Do everything you can to relieve their pain."

Okay Sakura knew she heard the blue hair Akatsuki laugh then, but her high collar hid her face from view. Sakura settled with watching the incredibly disturbing scene of front of her in awe. there had to be some kind of mistake. There was no way that these were the men that were feared in nearly all the shinobi nations. They looked like a bunch of kids home from school sick.

"They all have colds." Was all she managed to blurt out.

Konan 's face remained stoic. "I see the rumors of your skill were not exaggerated."

Sakura's eye twitched.

"This is it?"

"Yes."

"..."

"..."

The only sounds in the room came from some one blowing their nose, and a cord of rasping coughs.

"Are you sure?" Sakura asked weakly. The elder woman nodded once.

"You will be tending to these four-" She eyed the four shinobi laying pitifully in the sick ward with something like disgust. "You'll have one more patient, but he will not leave his room." Konan rolled her eyes. 'Brat' she thought darkly but went on with her speech. "He happens to be the worse off of them, so most of your time will be sent working with him."

Sakura's eye twitched yet again at the thought of being someone's personal bed nurse, but she didn't say anything. 'Think of the stress free year, think of the stress free year.' She repeated in her head like a chant. Konan went on.

"Don't lose the ring on your finger, girl. It is tied directly to Pein-sama's chakra, if you enter an area that is off limits, we will know immediately. Also, you're 'special' patient will be able to track you and summon you with it as well. Do not screw up." Konan glared again for good measure before turning to leave.

"Special Patient? Wait a minute-! Hey, how will I know how to get there? Hey, I'm talking to you!! " The occupants of the sick ward looked over at the loud pinked haired girl curiously. Clearly, She was someone with guts to talk to the only female in the organization like that. Despite the terrible headache that refused to dull, Kisame managed a haggard chuckle. This was going to interesting to say the least.

Though the pink haired medic couldn't see it, Konan was grinning something fierce. So much so that when she passed Zetsu in the hallways both sides of him had to do a double take to make sure they were seeing things correctly. The paper mistress may not like the little medic, but she did enjoy getting under her skin.

--

"This is degrading." Sakura deadpanned while using her chakra to find the source of infection in the blonde Akatsuki member.

Said man rolled his eyes in return. "This isn't a bucket of cherries for me either, un. I had to drag you from Konoha with a cold." He would have looked perfectly miffed if it wasn't for the long tendril of snot running down his nose faster then he could wipe it off. Deidara looked mortified.

The medic pulled her chakra out of his system and began writing on a pad of paper. "Believe me I know, I was there. Well Deidara, it looks like you have a sinus infection like sharky over there." She gestured her pencil toward Kisame.

"Like I haven't heard that one before."

Sakura ignored him. "You also have a mild case of Pneumonia. So I'll have to fix something up for that. As for the aforementioned sinus infection you're gonna have to wait it out. By the way You and Mr. Halloween mask over there owe me a new hair dryer."

"I'm Tobi, Sakura-chan! Tobi is a good bo-" the masked boy rasped before sneezing a few more times. Despite herself, Sakura smiled. She happened to like this one, and felt bad for him. He was going to have a hell of a time getting over his case of strep throat.

"Wait it out un? What do you mean wait it out un?! We kidnapped you so could heal us. Heal us un!"

Honestly, these were supposed to be some of the smartest prodigies that the shinobi world had ever produced. Didn't they have a cheek up everyone and a while? _'It's not like the Akatsuki offers medical benefits dear.' _Inner Sakura supplied with a light chuckle. Sakura couldn't help but break out into a fit of giggles at the positively adorable pout that graced Deidara's features.

"Ano, Deidara. Medical ninjutsu can't fix everything. We can heal and mend bone and other tissue because these are already laced with chakra, so it's easy to manipulate. But viruses aren't technically alive and therefore have no chakra in them. I can't control the speed at which they multiply in the human body. All I can do is keep the white blood cell counts high enough to fight off the infection. The rest is up to you."

The blonde's one visible eye glared at her before huffing and burying himself into the blankets like a petulant child.

'_What a baby' _she thought dryly. Clearly Deidara wasn't exactly happy with her, but Sakura could understand. If he had killed one of her partners, she wouldn't be in a hurry to socialize with him either.

She was pleasantly surprised to find Tobi to be sweet and even adorable. Sure the guy had a royal panic attack when she attempted to remove the mask, but after Kisame explained to her that he **never** took the mask off, she had managed to work around it.

The blue shark man was also full of surprises it seemed. All the times she had ever come across him on the battle field (which was about twice in total) he came across as the sadistic type. But she wasn't that horrible. Sure, she would have to beat him to a bloody pulp if he kept looking at her ass like that, but besides that he was actually funny, in sick, twisted, old perverted man kind of way. He had a sinus infection not to mention a liver in the worst condition she had ever seen in her entire medical career. (That was going to take a few sessions to heal)

As for the man tied to the last bed, (When she had asked why he was tied to the bed and unconscious all she had gotten was a dark grin from Kisame and the muttered 'For your own safety, kid.' ) Hiden, she had been told, he was in for a world of hurt when he awoke. A bowel infection, an ear infection and to top it all off chicken pox. That would not be fun to deal with. No, she had to quickly quarantine him to another section of the medic wing to prevent the others from coming down with it as well.

That was the last thing she needed.

She shivered involuntarily.

Pushing her momentary fears away, Sakura focused on the pad of paper on her lap. She didn't really need to take notes, she could fix a cold up in her sleep, but old habits die hard. She was going to need to make a large pot of soup, several gallons of tea, lots of water to keep them hydrated, maybe some clea-

The thought was forgotten as the ring on her finger began to glow for the second time in one day. Rising from her seat, Sakura sighed. 'I guess I'll have to get it over and done with.' she thought bitterly.

She was still not too keen on being someone's bed nurse, but how bad could it be if they were so sick they couldn't even leave their own room?

"Okay guys I'll be back in a little bit with food so don't do anything too strenuous until then alright?" She didn't wait for an answer, and walked out of the door.

Kisame and Deidara exchanged looks. It was becoming increasingly clear that this girl was either very brave or very stupid. Honestly, the Kiri missing nin could not remember the last time anybody had scolded him or talked to him like he was child. It was weird to say the least.

It was also becoming clear that she didn't have any idea what she had gotten herself into, when she accepted the position of their medic.

"WHAT THE F- OW! WHO THE HELL TIED ME TO THE GODAMN BED?! WHY DO I ITCH?!"

Ah. Hiden was awake.

--

Once safely on the other side of the door Sakura stared blankly at the hallway. She had no idea where she was supposed to go. Luckily for the pink hair medic, she felt the chakra in the ring pull toward it's owner.' That's a neat little trick…' Shrugging, she followed blindly, and thus allowed herself time to think.

Much to Sakura's favor (a bit of disappointment as well) It seemed as if the elder Uchiha was gone, on a mission perhaps. A part of Sakura always knew that despite being a clan murdering, life ruining, scum bag, Uchiha Itachi wasn't a stupid man.

From what she had seen and heard he was actually very intelligent, a genius, one of the best ninja that Konoha had ever produced and his track record, even after his defection, only proved that.

Stupid missing-nin don't stay alive for very long.

'That bastard will probably live to be a hundred.' She knew that Sasuke was still after him, and would stop at nothing to kill him, but lets face it, that hasn't been exactly working for him in the last few years now has it?

Eventually the tugging stopped and Sakura found herself in front of a black door, only several doors away from her own room. _'How covenant' _Readying herself, Sakura opened the door, and promptly forgot how to breathe.

_'Heh, you just jinxed yourself there princess'_ Inner Sakura roared with laugher.

Outer Sakura though, did not share her alter ego's sentiments. She didn't find this one bit funny. Not one bit. It had to be some elaborate genjutsu.

That was it.

Konan was playing a trick on her.

She really only had to take care of the other four right?

Right?

Somehow it was becoming less and less likely that the blazing sharingan eyes of Uchiha Itachi, that were currently gluing her to he spot, were merely a genjutsu.

--

Things I'd like to clarify

1) Again, My knowledge of Konan's character is extremely limited. So I kind of went with my own ideas for her. (with some influence from Lady Hanaka again) I hope it's acceptable.

2) Sorry Dei-Dei's being such a bitch bucket. He'll warm up to Sakura-Chan eventually.

3) The thing about the rings and the chakra in them was, for the most part, thought up by me. I'm not sure how they work, so I put my own little spin on them.

4) Uh, I made up the stuff about not being able to heal the viruses. I just used a bit of info from my old life science books, to make something sound plausible. It wouldn't be nearly as fun if she could heal them all up lickity-split, now would it?

Notes:

Heh, okay so Itachi made an extremely small appearance in this chapter, the next one will be full of him, I promise. On a different note, I love writing For Hiden and Kisame. It's so fun. See you next chapter!

Forever and Eternally,

-Ra


	3. At Best

Two out of three

Chapter three; At best

By Chibi Ra Chan

Rating: T

Note; I'm very very late. I am so sorry, but it got here eventually. Enjoy!

--

Itachi was usually a very sensible man. He prided himself on his ability to find reason in the most bizarre situations. He was a free thinker and he did not blindly do things without weighing the possible outcomes to his actions.

This was what made him such a great shinobi. True his strength and upbringing had a lot to do with it, but what really set him apart from the other hundreds of thousands of ninja out there was his impeccable common sense.

Having said that, Itachi, for the life of him, could not figure out why he listened to Kisame and pushed through that storm. It had been a simple enough mission. Collect the organization funds from one of their bases in Kumo, and return to Kiri. The actual mission part went well, but on the return home, (If you could call the base that) a team of Anbu had caught their trail on their daily rounds.

Normally, this would not have been an issue from them, but a large thunderstorm had be threatening to cover the entire area with heavy rains. And considering they were currently traveling through one of the many valley's that were trademark to lighting country, Flooding was an immediate threat.

He knew that they should slip past the Anbu, like they usually did, and find shelter in a hotel but Kisame insisted that they could take out three man squad and still have plenty of time to find refuge.

Kisame's ventures never did turn out well, he knew that, but he ignored this and went with the blue man's plans none the less.

This resulted in not only a battle that was never finished but also a very wet, very unconscious Uchiha when mother nature finally let the rain pour. And to Itachi's further annoyance a week later, the exposure to the muddy, wet environment had developed into this this completely useless cold.

Now half of the organization were suffering due to his lack of common sense. Yes, this was absolutely all Kisame's fault and needless to say that if he wanted to keep his fishy heart beating, then he would never ever bring up this incident again.

And just when he thought it couldn't possibly become anymore insulting to his already wounded ego, Pein went and kidnapped them a foreign medic. To make matters worse, he picked _this _medic.

Uchiha Itachi was currently a very unhappy man.

--

Sakura wanted to die.

She really did. Life could be so cruel sometimes. She had no sooner dismissed the thought of having to deal with this particular Uchiha, just to be faced with the sick sad reality that she was going to do what she had dreaded most.

Being the clever medic she was, she stood there, in the doorway of Uchiha Itachi's bedroom waiting, no hoping, that the earth would split open and swallow her whole.

Sadly, Sakura had no such luck. "Are you going to continue to gape like an idiot-" She could have sworn that despite his dispassionate tone, his nose twitched with the urge to sneeze, but he recovered too fast for her to tell. "Or are you going to come in?"

She nodded numbly. '_Way to show him sweetheart, way to go._' Inner Sakura interjected with a thick layer of sarcasm. The door shut behind her leaving the room almost completely dark, save for an irritated pair of blood red eyes that were making her sift in nervousness. The reality of the situation hit her.

Hard.

She was god-knows-where, surrounded by sick (but deadly) missing nin, who could tire of her any minute and get rid of her. And even if she survived, there was no guarantee that Pein (It felt increasingly odd to call him by an actual name, instead of 'Akatsuki Leader') would uphold his end of the bargain. Konoha could-

She was broken out of her thoughts by the sharp sound of two loud claps, and the room was illuminated once again.

Oh dear god he was naked.

Okay, okay, much to inner Sakura's displeasure, he really wasn't naked. A small scrap of dark violet pant could be seen under the blanket that was covering his lower half. He sat against the headboard, shirtless, looking like it was completely normal to have a petrified pink haired medic stareing at him like the portal to hell was opening behind him.

'_Get it together Sakura! You are a competent, strong shinobi who is on a mission. Provided that it's a mission you were blackmailed into, but that is not the point! We need to complete this mission to save Naruto! We can't let one shirtless Uchiha stop us!'_

At this moment, Sakura had never been happier to have an alternate personality. The inner pep talk was exactly what she needed to kick into professional medic mode. Sticking on a pleasant smile she took a step toward Itachi, ready to get this over with.

'_Even if he's the sexiest thing since sex…'_

Sakura fell flat on her face.

Their was a pregnant pause of silence in the room, before she heard something she didn't think existed. Uchiha Itachi, the infamous man who killed his entire clan in a single night, was laughing.

Actually it wasn't exactly laughing, the sound that had come from his mouth could be considered a dark chuckle at best, but growing up around so many emotionally stunted people, she knew a laugh when she heard one.

Under normal circumstances she would be furious and beat whoever had the gall to laugh at her through a couple of walls, but the sound was so forgein to her ears that she could only stare in wonder.

Could it be possible that this horrible man was a real emotion feeling human? The thought was ludicrous that she couldn't properly comprehend it and thus was shoved into the darkest recesses of her mind.

Recovering a bit late, the pink haired medic pushed herself up and dusted her front in embarrassment, a red tinge staining her usually pale cheeks. She glared at the sick man when she saw he was smirking at her.

"Clearly, Pein has saw fit to fetch us the best medic that could be carried here."

'_Must not throw through wall….' _Sakura plastered on a smile that was more of a sneer then an actual smile and pulled a chair to his bed side and sat down.

"I aim to please."

"You also aim for the ground."

One of her pretty glass green eyes twitched. _'Must not throw through wall, must not-'_

"You much more pleasant then the bingo books mentioned." She spit this out with all the contempt she could muster and pulled out her medic journal so she could get this started and get the hell away from this evil creature.

While her attention was elsewhere, Itachi watched her with a warped sense of amusement. He remembered this kunoichi from several years ago, in a particularly short encounter with the Kyuubi. She had broken Naruto-kun out of his genjutsu with only a touch. At the time she had seemed calm and collected.

Certainly not the easily rattled women to his left. He supposed that it was from being in foreign territory, working in such close quarters with the enemy. But if his senses were right, and they were, no cold could shake his chakra sensing abilities, then she had been only been here for a few hours.

Was the leaf kunoichi, Haurno Sakura he remembered, so easily perturbed? Or was it just his presence that unnerved her so? Come to think of it, she did ask about his little brother's whereabouts in the one brief encounter they had.

The smirk increased by a mere centimeter, which was a lot for the usually cold Uchiha. She was troubled by the difference in what Sasuke and the rest of her village had told her about him, and by the real him she was faced with.

She didn't know how to react to him.

'Interesting…' Itachi was always up for a challenge.

"You are much smaller then the bingo book states." She broke the pencil she was writing with in half.

'_MustnotkilMustnotkillMustnot-'_

"Almost childlike."

Sakura saw red.

The next thing she knew, she was hovering over a completely emotionless (_'and half naked!') _Itachi, her fist only a few centimeters from contacting with his face. His iron grasp on her wrist was the only thing that kept her from touching him.

"I would not attempt that again Sakura-san." His crimson eyes pierced into her light green ones with so much intent, so much familiarity that she had to look away in defeat.

Bitterly,Sakura nodded and glared away from him, attempting to yank her wrist free. He let the appendage go, but not before her fingers had the barest of contact with his forehead.

He was burning up.

Sakura sighed as she sat back on her chair. This was going to be extremely complicated and tedious, and defiantly trying on her nerves. She really did not want to be anywhere near this man who was already challenging nearly 10 years of assumptions she had about him, and they had only been in the same room for an hour.

The last thing she wanted was to think of Uchiha Itachi as anything other then a monster that ruined her dear friends life.

But he was sick none the less, and being a medic she was required to heal him with just the same amount of care she would give everyone else.

Even is her was clan murdering scum. _'Sexy clan murdering scum'_ inner Sakura added for good measure.

"I swear in the name of Jashin-Sama that I'll /**beep**/ maim the mother /**beep**/ who tied me to this /**beep**/ /**beep**/ bed! Someone better untie me before I rip of their /**beep**/ and /**beep**/ it so far down their /**beep**/ that they'll have to /**beep**/ down their /**beep**/ /**beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep**/ backwards!"

Sakura's palm quickly found her face with a resounding clap, effectivly turning the lights off again.

With what was looking like the hundredth sigh today, Sakura faced Itachi who was looking at her with something akin to curiosity.

"How about we make a deal…"

--

Things to clarify;

1) Yes, the Akatsuki has a clap-on lights system. Didn't you know that?

2) I tried to make this recently exonerated, good guy Itachi, that the manga has shown us he was all along. It would be very difficult to write humor/fluff with crazy, asshole, clan murdering pond scum Itachi. I'm actually having a very good time writing for the real Itachi. Hopefully I haven't butchered him too much.

3) I love Hiden, I really, really do. He's great for comic relief. (Of all things.)

Notes: Anyway sorry about it being late, I've been lazy. Sorry I wish I had a better excuse but I don't. I hope you liked it and will continue to read (and reveiwcoughcough)).

Next chapter will have 37.2 percent more Deidara! And Itachi continutes his mental torture on our poor conflited Sakura-chan! (Oh Noes!!1uno)

Forever and Eternally,

-Ra


End file.
